Buttery
by Glee Klaine Fanboy
Summary: Cartman discovers feelings for Butters he never knew were there. CUTTERS
1. Chapter 1

Buttery

Summary: High School and Cartman realizes the lonely existence he's set himself up for when its all said and done, but one person can still love him.

Chapter One

It hit Eric one day as he sat in the cafeteria of South Park High during lunch. All his friends had someone. He was alone. No one would ever want to be with him. He'd pushed away anyone that had ever tried to get too close. Stan and Kyle had each other, and Kenny had Wendy. Who did he have? Part of Cartman yelled at himself mentally and told him to stop being a pussy, the part that usually won. He'd been following that voice for years. He could feel the rage building and he was going to give in again. He didn't need anyone! Only losers were needy. Cartman huffed and gave his lunch tray a shove, watching it clatter to the floor and spill its contents. Everyone looked at him with wide eyes. They were all well familiar with Cartman's fits by now. Eric immediately regretted it. Now he had nothing to eat for lunch. He stalked off, leaving the mess for the lousy Mexican janitor to clean up. He'd nearly reached the doors of the cafeteria when his eyes fell on Butters sitting at a nearby table with Jimmy and Bebe. He decided to walk over. Butters had a soft smile and a wave for him, as he always had. Cartman felt disgust well within him, coupled with affection for the gesture. He detested Butters' faggotry, but even more he detested himself because part of him liked it. Cartman swallowed down the monster and kept coldly calm as he approached.

"Oh hi Eric," Butters greeted. "Do you want to sit with us?"

"Sure," Cartman replied casually, ignoring the annoyed looks from Bebe and Jimmy.

"Look I'm gonna go to my locker before class," Bebe excused herself.

"Bitch," Cartman muttered under his breath.

"H-h-hello Eric," Jimmy greeted nervously. "Are you feeling well today?"

He hoped so. He wasn't in the mood to be dogged on by Cartman.

"Not really," Cartman sighed, remembering his lunch. "Butters can you share some of your lunch with me? I kinda spilt mine."

"Y-y-you mean k-knocked it ov-ov-over," Jimmy stuttered.

"Well sure Eric," Butters replied with his kind smile.

Why did Butters have to smile at him like that? Cartman felt himself gravitating toward the blond again. Butters passed a roll and baked potato across the table and Eric couldn't help noticing how soft his hand looked. Butters was soft, and he was always so kind to Eric, more than he deserved. Cartman shook the thoughts away as he took the food items. He gave Butters a small smile in spite of himself.

"Sweet," he said, shoving the roll in his mouth.

Butters giggled a little at this and covered his mouth with his hand. Cartman glared at him and he immediately composed himself, looking slightly guilty. Jimmy turned himself slowly and steadied himself on his crutches, gradually working his way onto his feet. His arms and legs trembled under his weight. Butters looked at him sympathetically and stood too.

"Let me help you take your plate Jimmy," he offered.

Cartman's heart twisted in a knot at the simple act of kindness. What made Butters so kind and good? He watched the smiling blond boy take Jimmy's plate to the dirty dish pile without a single complaint. Cartman couldn't help being effected. When he was around Butters it was almost like some of the boy's light shone into him, casting beams into his dark soul. It was a foreign feeling. When had Cartman ever done anything for anyone else in his life? Damn it! Why did he feel so confused? He decided that if he ever did do anything for anyone else it should be Butters. He cared about Butters a lot. Where was this all coming from? Butters returned to the table. Jimmy had slowly made his way out of the cafeteria.

"Here," Butters offered, pushing the rest of his lunch over to Cartman with that smile.

"Butters why are you so nice to me?" Cartman asked, not thinking about it much.

"Because I like ya Eric," Butters replied. "Isn't that obvious?"

Cartman felt slight discomfort as his suspicions were confirmed. Not only that Butters did like him that way, but that he liked Butters back. Butters was still giving him that smile and his blond hair was almost like sunshine. What was he doing to Cartman? Eric shivered at the wash of feelings within him.

"I," he paused. "I guess..."

No! He wasn't going to say it. Even if he did like Butters he couldn't say that out loud. He grabbed the now empty tray and stood.

"Thanks Butters. I owe ya."

"Anytime Eric," Butters told him. "Say. I was wondering. You know that there's a dance coming up next month."

Cartman's stomach flipped over. Oh gosh. Butters wasn't about to ask...

"Gotta go Butters," Cartman blurted, setting the tray down and bolting.

He had put considerable distance between himself and the cafeteria before he stopped. He leaned against his locker, white as a sheet.

"What's the matter with you?" Kyle asked him.

Cartman opened his eyes and saw his curly-haired friend in front of him with his arms folded.

"Oh, sup Kyle," he said. "Nothing's wrong."

"Yeah sure," Kyle replied, walking off with a snort.

He almost called Kyle back, but he couldn't talk to anyone about this. Sixth period was even more confusing. He shared sixth period German class with Butters. It had been just his luck that their teacher had put Butters in front of him at the beginning of the semester. He had a particularly hard time keeping his eyes off of Butters' ass tucked into the curves of his desk. He went home feeling more confused than ever.


	2. Chapter 2

Buttery

Chapter Two

Cartman had to talk to someone. Who better than his mom right? He was sitting on his couch in the same old yellow-walled living room of their house when she came in from work.

"Hi hun," she greeted. "How was school today?"

"Fine," Cartman said. "I needed to uh...talk about something."

"What is it Eric?" his mom asked, taking a seat in the armchair. "You're not having girl problems are you?"

She gave a little giggle and Eric felt anger boil within him.

"No mom seriously," he growled. "I am not having girl problems!"

"Alright hun," she said, giving a little cough and composing her face to look more serious. "What is it?"

"I was wondering what does it mean if...'my friend' likes girls for the most part, but there might be this one boy he likes."

"Ohhh," his mom said eying him strangely. "Well hun, I think that makes your friend bi-sexual."

"Bi-sexual," Cartman replied. "Well that's not as bad as being gay right?"

His mom looked at him sternly. He knew that she knew he was talking about himself.

"Eric there's nothing wrong with being gay," she chided him. "If your friend is gay they deserve acceptance and support and if I was their mother I'd still love and accept them."

She looked at him with gentle eyes and Eric felt a tear well up in his eye and slide down his face.

"Really?" he sniffled. "Ma, I think...I think I might be gay."

"Its okay Eric," Miss Cartman said with a smile. "You're still mommy's sunshine."

Wait a minute! Okay to be gay? The monster in Eric was definitely waking up now. Yet he wasn't angry. He was being honest. He felt the monster cow down under his sincerity, almost like it was weakening. Eric felt...happy.

"I need to call Kyle," Cartman told his mom.

Lianne nodded and stood.

"I'll go make dinner," she said.

Cartman was now more confused than ever about his feelings for Butters. How could he like Butters? Butters was lame. He felt a spark of guilt. However lame he might have been, Butters was always there for him. He always went along with his dumb plans and picked him up when he felt like he hadn't a friend in the world. He was so confused! Maybe Kyle could help.


	3. Chapter 3

Buttery

Chapter Three

Cartman began to get impatient as the phone at the Broflovski house rang for about the twelth time. Finally someone picked up.

"Hello?" came Kyle's voice.

"Hello," Cartman greeted in his gruff voice.

"Well well Cartman," Kyle spoke sarcastically. "What can I do for you? I'm sure you didn't call me to make nice."

"Oh shut up," Cartman replied. "No I was calling for your advice."

"I see," Kyle snorted. "Why should I give you advice? Remind me of anything nice you've done for me lately."

However Cartman had learned a little trick for getting Kyle to soften. He'd learned after enough time that Kyle often felt guilt for not obeying the tenants of his Jewish faith to treat others the way you would want to be treated (see the works of Rabbi Akiva). This caused Kyle to show pity and sympathy for others where he would have every right to show malice.

"Oh come on Kahl," Cartman put on in a falsetto voice. "You're not a good Jew if you don't help your fellow man. Rabbi Akiva says..."

"Oh just shut up," Kyle snapped, but with a defeated tone to his voice. "Fine, I'll help you."

"Great," Cartman said with satisfaction that made Kyle's blood boil. "Listen. I need help with something, but it has to stay between just us..."

Kyle was surprised by the nervousness and even fear in his friend's voice. He was really trusting him with something.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Its about Butters," Cartman spoke in a low voice.

Kyle could have laughed. He knew what this was all about now. He snorted and covered his mouth to keep from bursting with laughter.

"I know what it is," he said excitedly. "You like him. Don't you Cartman?"

"Shhh," Eric hissed. "Can your mom or dad hear you?"

"No its just me," Kyle chuckled. "Forgive me, but this is just so ironic. You've ripped on Stan and I for being fags for how many years?"

"Yeah?" Cartman snarled. "Well if you tell anyone so help me God I will..."

"Relax," Kyle interrupted him. "I won't tell. Why do you need my help with Butters?"

"Well I'm not sure that I like him, like him. Know what I mean?"

"No," Kyle replied honestly.

"Well never mind," Cartman muttered. "Anyway I think its just his willingness to help people that moves me you know? I get this warm feeling inside when I see Butters help others. Like today at lunch he helped carry Jimmy's tray for him."

"Oh my God Cartman," Kyle said in a low voice. "I never would have guessed you actually had a heart. That's what this is about? What else have you been thinking?"

"Well just that maybe..." Cartman hesitated. "Maybe I have been doing this whole thing wrong for years. Just, maybe I have been kinda a prick."

"Kinda?" Kyle asked in amusement.

Cartman growled with annoyance and resisted the urge to bite Kyle's head off.

"Maybe I want to help others Kyle," he blurted quickly to keep his anger in check. "That's all I'm saying. You help people all the time."

"Cartman," Kyle said gently. "If I thought I could believe you, but you do sound serious about this. I'm almost proud of you right now. You don't have an ulterior motive this time right?"

"My words to God's ears," Eric swore in reply.

"Alright then," Kyle said, and it was still gentle and friendly. "You can come with me to volunteer at the old folk's home this weekend. Cool?"

Part of Cartman wanted to protest. Old folks home? Yet another part said that this was the first step. He was going to get Butters to notice him. Maybe changing was in small steps.

"Yeah dude," he replied. "This weekend."

"Alright than," Kyle agreed. "I'll come pick you up. About eleven o'clock. Be ready."

After the call was finished Eric felt divided in a way he'd never felt before. The monster in him was repulsed, but the more human side of him- Eric. Eric was happy. He was actually going to do something good and help others for a change. Maybe Butters would even notice. Why did he want Butters to?


End file.
